Hello Beautiful people!

For 28 years of my marriage with Todd, we have cycled through the same challenge.

He Said, She Said

75% of our communication, when it comes to decision making, disagreements, parenting decisions, talks about money, even how we Christmas shop, ended in arguments. They led to me shutting down. Todd feeling attacked or told what to do.  Me feeling like a deer in headlights, like, “What just happened?”.

This struggle has been real for 28 years. Our inability to communicate effectively has left us both incredibly desperate and very lonely.

I think he should talk nicer, be mindful of his tone and facial expressions when he speaks to me. When I communicate with him, I’d really love it if he would have something to say back.

He thinks I over-react and make things a bigger deal than they are.  He doesn’t like to be “told what to do” or “scripted” to talk to the kids.

When I communicate with him things that bother me, he stares back and asks me to get to the point. He communicates “matter of fact”, bottom line. Point A to point B.

Written here it may not sound like a big deal. But, of course, it goes much deeper than this.

Communication is Key to a Sustainable and Successful Relationship.

Would you agree?

According to recent relationship trends “People are increasingly more open to investing in mentors they trust, and will not shy away from investing in the love department of their lives in 2019. ” And, “To maintain a happy, strong relationship for the duration of a lifetime requires couples to continually adapt to one other. They are more inclined to work through relationship issues in order to adapt to their partner’s ongoing needs and changes.”

Both Todd and I believe in counseling and have made it part of our journey. We have seen a counselor on and off for our whole marriage and the source was always, we could not seem to communicate effectively no matter what we did or hard we seemed to try.

The Skill Set that Changed our Marriage

Recently, for my work as a Holistic Wellness Coach, I was introduced to a revolutionary skillset to increase my revenue by up to 300%, allow me to understand and serve my customers and partners better, and to save us both time.

Little did I know that this unique skill set would apply not only to my professional relationships and be a game changer but also be a game changer in my PERSONAL relationships as well.

It was like a light bulb finally turned on and it was all clear!

I really never thought we would move through this. I thought we would have to settle. I thought we would never be able to be as close as I wanted., to come to the line at the same time. I never thought I would say this, but Todd and I have never been more in love. It’s so awesome!

I now understand the specific set of “negotiation” or “come alongside” values that Todd communicates from are completely different than mine.

For 28 years I have basically been speaking a foreign language to him and he to me.

He has heard, “blah, blah, blah. What do you think?”

Or, “blah, blah blah, that’s why I think we should buy a new treadmill.” 

Now when we have a discussion or negotiate or parent or present grievances or challenges come up, I filter it all first and remember to speak “Todd”

I kid you not, EVERYTHING is different. EVERYTHING has changed.

No UN-learning

Just last night, we cycled to a quickly heated negotiation. Per the old ways, it came fast and I felt like it came out of nowhere. I thought for a second, omg, I can’t believe I just wrote about our bliss and here we are again.

The difference was I didn’t tell myself the old story. I KNEW we were different now. He KNEW we were different, No going back. No UNlearning what we have learned. We walked away before it was “too late”. Within the hour, my man apologized and we went to bed holding hands.

Todd and I are forever on this journey. Forever.

BONUS

As my personal relationships have shifted and grown, so has my professional direction. I continue to coach wellness with a twist and focus on relationships. PROFESSIONAL RELATIONSHIPS.

I am a certified and licensed trainer for value-based sales. Training the essential soft skills with a revolutionary methodology….yep, the same one that has changed my marriage. I am beyond excited to offer a cutting edge system and tools to master effective communication to influence and serve effectively professionally that applies immediately to our personal relationships! #timesaver

This is a great article: https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbeslacouncil/2018/07/20/business-and-people-why-relationships-are-essential-for-a-successful-business/#2239791c74f2

On May 4th, 2017 my two eldest daughters and I went to the island of Vieques in Puerto Rico. We spent six days experiencing beautiful tropical weather, beaches, rainforest hikes, bodysurfing, great food, and snapping tons of selfies!

This was the first time I had ever been anywhere with just the two eldest of our seven children.

We all did great staying off our phones during the trip–making just the nightly calls to check-in at home (me to Todd and the three kids still at home, and Shannon and Abby to their families ❤️).

THEY LOVE ME

On the way home, we had time to post all our pics of all the mother-daughter amazingness!!
Maybe you saw them?

• Jumping in the air at the beach?
• Laughing at the cliffs?
• At the seaside farm to plate restaurants?
• Baking (with sunscreen!) in the sun?
• On our back-road mountain climbing car rides to the rainforest?

Sounds amazing, yes? Truth be told, it WAS amazing!!!

MY MOTHER’S DAY MIRACLE

One year ago, I would never have in a million years thought that my girls would have ever considered traveling out of the country with ME would be appealing. I know in their hearts it would have been a HOPE but most likely they would have never entertained it.

A LOT HAS CHANGED IN A YEAR

This trip was actually Shannon’s (our eldest) idea.  She asked ME! I said YES! Then we asked Abby, and when she was a go, it was a done deal.

These two women, my daughters, have grown up with me.

I was pregnant with Shannon as a senior in high school and had Abby at 23. Growing up they had decisions made for them, by me, that were not easy to navigate at times. They loved me. They did not LIKE me. It was more like tolerated me 🙂  That was until this last year.

WHAT WE DIDN’T POST

The not so pretty part of mother-daughter love.

• Is it because they are like me in ways, and don’t want to be?
• Is it because they still feel the pain of those decisions that were made for them growing up?
• Is it that I really AM annoying and over the top and pushy and bossy and too happy and not enough?

ALL THE ABOVE IS TRUE….at times.

They love me and like me (most of the time ), and they are my BEST friends.

WHAAT??!!!

I can’t even believe I get to say that!!!

So that’s it, my mama bear friends.

KEEP UP THE GOOD AND IMPORTANT WORK

• Keep learning to love yourself and remembering how amazing you are.
• Keep reminding yourself how worthy YOU are.
• Tell your daughter EVERY DAY how worthy SHE IS.
• Teach them to love themselves, by example.
• You will get through the not so fun times.
• They love you.
• Be real, be honest, be wrong.
• Teach them to breathe fire.
• They are watching.

YOU ARE A KICK ASS MAMA THAT IS CHANGING THE WORLD!

Having a business AND OR a healthy lifestyle that is SUSTAINABLE is key to its success.

Since I started full time 3 years ago, as a Holistic Wellness Coach, I have learned so much!

  At the top of that list of lessons learned is Keep IT SIMPLE.

Furthermore, I am so much more of my best me when I CHOOSE ME FIRST.

It is so true that, putting on your own O2 mask first, is KEY to the value you bring to yourself and to those you love and care about….like these amazing humans in the picture taken just this last weekend on Mother’s Day 😊

For me, making my self-care a priority first thing in the morning; this makes everything else FLOW.

1. Hot lemon water, first thing
2. Coffee (1 cup, black )
3. Morning meditation (THIS IS A  NON-NEGOTIOABLE — more on this below)
4. Morning workout (yoga or my favorite workout DVD)

NOW BRING ON THE DAY!

I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR WHAT YOUR MORNING ROUTINE IS!

Please leave me a comment below 😊

I am writing today to give you an EXCLUSIVE opportunity to be one-of-10 healthy aware individuals. I’d like you to join me at Sanoviv Medical Institute for an INCREDIBLE HEALTH AND EDUCATION EXPERIENCE.

I hope I will see you there. 😌

Sanoviv Health and Education Retreat // Sanoviv Medical and Education Retreat

1. The Health and Educational Retreat will go 5 days, from October 7-12th, 2017. Price for 5 nights is $1,797.00 per person (shared room) or $1997.00 (single room). Normally, this retreat costs $3,800.00. Download the flyer below.
2. Add an additional day on October 13th, for the Medical Educational Retreat. Price for 6 nights is $4997.00. Download the flyer below.

Both are exceptional savings of almost $1,000.00.

We encourage more and more people to come for the medical retreat because it gives them full exposure to what we have to offer at Sanoviv.  If you want to be preventive, this is a great program to find out if anything challenging is going on with your health. You would stay one extra day ,and depart on a Friday.

There are ONLY 8 spots left. THESE SPOTS WILL GO FAST!

I Want to Reserve My Spot!

This is first come…you know the rest 🙂 I wish I had room for ALL OF YOU!!

Please email or text (319 269-8710) me any questions I can help you with 🙂

The invitation will be extended to the rest of my team Saturday, April 29th.